The Wait

This time last year Martthew and I were busy waiting. We were officially waiting to be matched with a child via domestic adoption. We had just been blessed by some of the most beautiful women I've ever met with an adoption baby shower. We had clothes, toys, books, bassinet, diapers...we had everything we needed except for the baby. 

And we had no guarantee that we would ever have a baby. We were busy waiting for a child that may never come. 

This time last year my heart was constantly a flutter every time my phone rang. Maybe it was finally the call saying we've been matched!?  Tears were never far from my eyes as I let the enemy sneak in and prowl on my tender heart. I was trying to stay busy and enjoy every moment of my life but something was missing and that was our child

Matthew on the other hand was the perfect picture of composure. He was certain that all in The Lord's timing we'd bring a little one home and he was happy to wait on The Lord. Looking back, I remember being so irritated by his patience but I see now that I should have followed in his footsteps and been more graceful, patient, and kind. 

This time last year my arms ached from emptiness and now they ache from being so full with a 20lb little guy who is my son

I can tell you from experience there is nothing harder than the wait. There are few who will understand how slow time can pass when your waiting for the call. If you're waiting my heart and prayers are with you. I pray you are filled with patience and hope and peace. I pray your days are busy and your nights are restful. I pray that your match or your referral are coming soon and I pray that you don't treat the wait as a time of torture but as a time of blessings. I grew so much in The Lord as I cried out to Him on a daily basis. My heart belongs to Him in a way it hadn't before.

And now, if you'll excuse me there is a tiny boy who needs me. He has dirt under his finger nails and knots in his hair. He has a smile that can melt your heart and the best laugh ever. He is sweet but hates being told no. That's my son. The one I swore we would never be given. God gave us a child...and I am forever grateful for this gift.