Two Steps Forward...One Step Back!

Right when we think that we have our adoption plan all figured out it turns out that we don't!  I spent the better part of five days filling out paperwork, researching loans & grants, gathering pictures for our profile and writing a letter to potential birthmothers...Only to realize God has something else in store! 

I personally think God probably was shaking His head at Matt and I wondering why we weren't listening to Him!  But, I have to say, it's my fault.  I kept wondering about the orphans and widows mentioned in the book of James:

Jam 1:27	Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, [and] to keep oneself unspotted from the world.

 and wondering how we were to finance $20,000 for adoption!  How does that work?  Should rescuing an orphan be costing us this much???  I know there are so many people out there who figure it out, maybe take a 2nd mortgage out on their home, credit cards or grants...maybe even pay cash!  But for us, we knew that it was not following in the Lord's plan for us to open up a line of credit and we knew to save up cash for this would take us quite awhile.  Like we said, the first thing we knew about this adoption process is that it would not involve GOING INTO DEBT. 

So, as the thought of helping an orphan weighed on my heart and the stress of the money dampened my spirits, Matt and I finally sat down and figured it out: although we were walking closely to the plan God laid out for us...we weren't following the actual plan.  So, now that we have made two steps forward into the first plan, we take one step back and start over!

In two weeks, Matthew and I will attend an orientation meeting to begin the adoption process through Orange County.  Yep, we will be adopting a baby through the government!  There are so many children who need a home and rather than upwards of $20,000 we are now looking at a total cost of (at the most) $5,000.  We have already been blessed with donations and gifts to raffle, money in the savings account and more...God's got this!  Here is the process of adopting through Orange County:

• Orientation
• 6 weeks of parenting classes
• Wait to be assigned for a social worker
• Wait
• Begin home study
• Wait
• Pass home study
• Wait
• Apply for certificate to be a foster parent
• Wait
• Recieve certification
• Wait to be matched
• Wait
• Be matched with a child
• Wait
• Bring baby home!

As you can see, we will have a lot of time on our hands to grow in patience!!!  But, these are the babies that need to be fought for.  These are the babies who need a family to stand up and say "I will rescue this orphan"...and let's face it!  It will be the baby who is going to rescue us!  Whoever that sweet child is he/she is the love of our lives.  We do have the right to specify age & we will request to be matched with child no older than a few months.  But, age, gender, race, ethnicity...none of that matters.  All that matters is this will be our baby.

Forever by Grace

A few weeks ago I was doing my usual daily browse through Pinterest and one click led to another and led me straight to this photo:

It made me stop dead in my internet-searching tracks and go "Wow!"  I followed the link and it sent me to www.foreverbygrace.blogspot.com ...and from there a new friend was made!  I got in touch with one of the authors of the blog, Debbie Weldon and we bonded quickly over our personal adoption stories and knowing we had both been adopted into the Kingdom of God.  She is a beautiful Sister in Christ!  I asked her to share her story on my blog for one very specific reason: There is more than just my adoption going on!  There are orphans around the world looking for forever families and by the grace of God there are families just like the Weldons, hoping to bring a child home into their lives and hearts.  Below is Debbie's blog about their adoption from the Congo of Africa.  Please check out her blog as well as Give 1 Save 1.  I am so excited to donate to them as this week's featured family on the site!  They just received word that their dossier arrived in Congo and they now owe $3,500.  This could not have come at a better time!!!  Debbie, I know we have never met, but yours and Kevin's journey is now a part of my prayers and heart!  God bless you!

Debbie's Post:

Greeting to Ashley’s friends and followers! My name is Debbie and my

husband, Kevin, and I are adopting from the Congo in Africa. Ashley

has asked me to be a guest on her blog to help you guys learn a little

more about another adoptive family. I was so excited when she invited

me to do this because I LOVE sharing our story and what God has done

in our lives!

My husband and I have always considered adoption as something that we

would like to do at some point in our marriage. We always thought that

when we are done having our “own” kids then we would look into

adopting. Once we laid out our 5 year plan then God began to show us

that His plans looked much different! After 2 years of infertility we

began to rethink our life plan. We pleaded that God would show us the

next step we needed to take. Adoption quickly began to weigh on our

hearts as we researched countries, agencies, and the millions of

children who were fatherless. When we examined adoption we were

constantly reminded of the Gospel! As Christians we all have our own

adoption story. Our loving God adopted us as His children. We were

orphans destined for death but Jesus chose us to be his children and

placed us in His family. Ephesians 1:5 says, “He predestined us to
adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the
kind intention of His will.” It is our heart’s desire to rescue and

adopt a child into our home and life just as Christ has done for us!

As we researched international and domestic adoption we began to feel

a tug on our hearts towards Africa especially the Democratic Republic

of Congo. This country has been plagued with war, disease,

malnutrition, and unstable economy. There are approximately 4.5

million children in the Congo that are orphaned or lost one parent.

These children are left homeless, hungry, and fatherless. It is our

desire to make this staggering number One Less! God will make us a

family Forever By Grace!

We are the featured family this week with an awesome organization

called Give1Save1. They help with fundraising for Africa adoptions.

Basically you donate $1! Nobody can do everything but everyone can do
something! Please help us bring home our baby! Please check them out

at www.give1save1.com. Also, visit our blog at

www.foreverbygrace.blogspot.com!

Blessings to you and your family! :)

Money Matters...But Not That Much!

Since Matthew and I have officially begun the adoption process, our first obstacle is the financial one.  We cannot submit paperwork or begin a home study without money!  But, as just your everyday average couple where in the world are we going to find upwards of $20,000 to adopt!?  Well, obviously, we are fundraising, and obviously we do have some options and resources, but facing $20,000 is a little intimidating. 

When I found this article on Focus On the Familie's website (click here to check it out), I realized it was no coincidence but rather an answer to prayer!  My worries flew out the window after I read it!  This article is now on our fridge as a constant and wonderful reminder that our God will provide.  Here is the article (and here is the link if you'd like to see it in all its glory on the website)

Can We Afford a Baby?

Many couples would like to start their family, but worry they can't pull it off financially.

by Steve Watters

Many couples would like to start their family, but worry they can't pull it off financially.
I remember when my wife and I first started thinking about having a baby, one of the first questions I asked was, "How can we afford this?" Our combined income was manageable, but we had a lot of education debt and my wife really wanted to stay home with our baby – which meant potentially cutting our budget in half.
In the midst of our anxiety about affording a child, however, a mentor couple said something we'll never forget: "budget for everything except children – children are wealth."
On its face, this sounded totally irresponsible. Budgets are good things and children can be expensive. But we've found wisdom in this countercultural idea that might be helpful to you.
First, it's reminded us over the years that the costs and financial sacrifices associated with children really are different from the other ways we spend our money. Few expenditures provide as much return on investment or have the same eternal value. Seeing children as wealth can help you rethink which things in your budget really are must-haves and which things are worth exchanging for the gift of new life.
Secondly, this phrase has helped us realize that as important as it is to count the costs, our checkbook shouldn't be the final word. God is the creator of new life and He's also the one who sustains that life by providing for us as we follow His call to be fruitful. As you objectively look at your expenses and income, don't rule out God's desire to bless you. We've traded stories with our friends over the years about raises, gifts and other unexpected provisions that followed after trusting God to provide for our new families.
For some couples, a dedicated period of fiscal stewardship can help them knock out debts and build up savings that make starting a family more affordable. But as couples get married later, they also have to be good stewards of their fertility and energy.
If God has given you the desire to start a family, you can trust that He's also able to multiply your efforts as good stewards of what He gives you – including the possible wealth of children.
Looking at your personal circumstances, you might see challenges that could make the next year a tough time to start a family. Psalm 139 reminds us, however, that God ordains the days for each person before any of them come to be. If God has ordained this year as the time for a new child to join your family, you can believe that He is also able to "meet all your needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19). Whatever your circumstances, you can trust the Creator of life to help you start a family.

From Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies, published by Moody Publishers. Copyright © 2009, Steve and Candice Watters. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

Thank you, Jesus, for bringing peace to my heart and providing for us not only the gift of eternal salvation but for your patience with me as I worry my way through things that I need not worry about!  God you are good!

Baby Bottle Mania!

For all of the adopting bloggers out there, I thought I should share our latest fundraising adventure.  This is an idea I got from a pregnancy crisis center who fundraises at our church.  Its simple, cute & effective!

We started out with a small note about who we were and asking the reader to fill the bottle with their loose change (click "Read More" below to see what we said).  Then we bought bottles from the Dollar Store and 99cent Store, rolled the note up inside each bottle and capped it!  We are asking friends & family to take these bottles out to their places of work (if allowable, of course), churches, small groups, etc and hand them out to be filled & then returned!  Very simple!  Here is what it looked like for us:

 

I bought 24 bottles total, did not need to pay for the notes to be made since we have a printer and bought the bag to tote the bottles around at the dollar store as well.  Total this fundraiser cost us $25 but when we receive these bottles back we can put a new note in and recirculate to different people, making this more cost effective.  I hope this is an idea that you can take and make your own!  Let me know how this works out for you!

Hey everybody! Look what God can do!

Let me just start with saying that I serve a good God.

Matthew and I attended the Adoption Seminar yesterday & I walked in nervous and anxious for what was ahead.  I feared that this seminar would be a collapse of all the hope we had for adopting, or perhaps lead to Matt & I not agreeing on how to go about this.  But, as the day went on, I could just feel the Holy Spirit working in our hearts and binding all of our hopes and dreams together.  I feel closer to my husband more than I ever have before.  My favorite part of the day is when Matthew leaned over and whispered that he had changed his mind.  In a hushed voice he went on to tell me that God will direct the right child to us, and we should be open to any age, race, gender, and even open to adopting multiples!  My heart leaped for joy seeing God work in my husband and reassuring him that He is in control!

So, after an entire day's worth of testimony, legalities, monetary information and technicalities, we could not have left more ready to be parents!  We even made an awesome new friend, Becky, who made an adoption plan for her baby when she became pregant as a young teen.  Her testimony is beautiful & she will be sharing it here on this blog.  I hope everybody comes back to read it and learn about what it is like being the birthmother in an adoption plan.  I know you will be so blessed to read it!

So, now, we begin the paperwork!  Here is a little bit of what the process is going to look like for us:

• Seminar
• Application
• Letters of reference
• Letter to birthmother
• 2 page photo collage
• Cut our first official check for the adoption ministry to process all this!
• Interview with the adoption Ministry
• Apply and pay for a pre-placement assessment
• LiveScan finger printing/background checks
• We interview alone with a social worker (11/2 hours a piece)
• We interview together with a social worker (2 hours)
• Social worker comes to our home for a final interview
• Medical exams to ensure we are going to be around for awhile!
• At the same time we are doing our pre-placement assessment:
• Our profile will be available for birth mothers to see and decide if they'd like us to adopt & parent their sweet baby
• We wait for a call from an adoption ministry counselor saying we have been matched and we will be bringing a baby home to be a part of our forever family! 

So, please, as you can see, there is a lot ahead of us!  Matthew and I are really looking forward to all of this, but it will no doubt going to be a roller coaster ride as we venture out into the unknown.  The awesome thing about this is that we won't be venturing out just the two of us, our God is with us and He will minister to us and equip us to minister to a beautiful girl, the birthmother, who will be trusting us to care for her baby.   Thank you everybody for your support, your prayers and your touching calls, comments, text, emails.  It fills me with joy knowing that God is using this.  I remember years ago the devastation I felt knowing I'd never carry a child & now I think I'm not sure I'd want to make a family any other way.  Adoption is permanently etched on my heart.  God can do anything and everything and what seemed to me an impossible burden to carry He has turned into an amazing blessing!

Mary Kaaaaay

So stoked to share the good news!  Mary Kay beauty consultant, Launa Hopt & I have teamed up to bring yet another opportunity to adopt a precious miracle to the O'Brien home debt-free!  I use Mary Kay products myself (I especially love lash lengthening mascara & Pink Parfait lip gloss) and will personally stand behind the product 100%.  I can confidently speak for Launa when I say that she too stands behind her product!...She also offers a satisfaction gurantee.  If you haven't tried Mary Kay before, you will love the price and LOVE the quality.  If you have used Mary Kay in the past, or use it now, you know you get back in quality product every penny's worth of your money.  But, as I was saying!  Launa has graciously agreed to partner up in an effort to raise more funds towards our adoption!  If you click on the page on our blog homescreen: Mary Kay, you can shop online at Launa's store and when you type the word ADOPTION in the comments box during checkout a part of your total purchase will be donated to our adoption.  Can there be a better combination!?  Great make-up & adoption!?  I think not!  Anyway, this doesn't cost you any extra and the prices are unbeatable! 

• Click on the Mary Kay page at the top of this blog page
• Click on the link Mary Kay-Adoption-Launa's Shop
• Gawk at all the great products & add your favorites to your cart
• At check out type in ADOPTION in the comments box
• Pay
• Recieve your order
• Love your product!!!



Mary Kay Roll-Up Travel Bag



Mary Kay Really Red Creme Lipstick





Mary Kay Lash Lengthening Mascara



Hello & Get Ready!

Besides reaching our one year anniversary & celebrating by taking a week off of work to cruise down to the Mexican Riviera (an adventure with my best friend that I will never forget!)...

Arriving in Cabo San Lucas

Swimming with the dolphins in Puerto Vallarta



...there are a few more things in store for Matthew and I and we are so excited!  In 10 days we will be taking our FIRST OFFICIAL STEP towards adopting!  We will be attending the Adoption Seminar & then we pursue STEP TWO!  Cannot wait for that!

And, then....drum roll please....We will be having a guest blogger!  I am so excited for you all to read what my new friend, Debbie, has to share about her & her husband's adoption adventure.  Their story is much different then ours.  They were led to adopt a sweet baby from the Congo of Africa.

It will be an incredible read & I hope you all stop by to see what she has to say as well as support her & her husband that week by donating $1 to their adoption!  They have been selected by an incredible organization to be featured as the "Family of the Week" and they are only asking for $1.  Sacrifice that Snickers bar you want to buy while you are in line at the grocery store, take that change, & turn it into a  little miracle for Debbie & her husband!

But wait!  There's more!  This one is one that I drool over (almost literally!).  A new Etsy shop is opening up by a professional pastry chef in Hawaii & she has offered to bake & donate two dozen cookies towards our adoption process.  I seriously contemplated keeping them & selfishly eating all of the sweet deliciousness, but reluctantly agreed to what they were meant for: YOU!  We are going to raffle off these sweet treats & the winner will win all two dozen!  Trust me...these aren't just your everyday Chips Ahoy.  These cookies are AH-MAZING!  We will of course be posting links to her shop as well as links to the raffle tickets but let me give you just a glimpse at what this woman is capable of!

YUM!

YUM!

YUM!

Yah, I know.  Amazing how somebody can make food into art.  Even more impressive is if you win it & get to eat all that art!

So anyway, the point is...you are going to want to stay tuned!  There are some awesome things in store & I can't wait to share it all!