...Africa...

Hello again!  I've been back from Africa for awhile now...but I haven't written because I've had nothing to say.  No joke.  I've been thinking about and praying over this blog post since before I even boarded a plane to leave and I've worried about how it would all come across.  On one hand, I have just spent two weeks in a third world country and I have so many stories to share...but on the other hand, I know good and well I can't share every single story so how do I decide which ones need to be told?

Another thing holding me back from writing is the fact that I never had that "ah-ha!" moment, or a break down or much emotional distress from the trip.  I know a lot of people travel to Africa and most say they have left a piece of their heart there.  Or they talk about the tears that poured out as they surveyed the poverty all around them.  Or they come home more ready than ever to tackle the tough social issues and truly change the world.  But me?  I experienced nothing of the sort.  Don't get me wrong.  It hurt seeing the things I did.  And my heart hurts so badly when I think of the two sweet boys I met and the fact that they are growing up searching for food in the garbage dump.  Like seriously...these two silly boys, both eight years old stole my heart.  I don't have any photos because my phone was stolen while I was in Ethiopia, but I see their faces in my head and my heart sinks every time I realize the vivid memories will eventually fade and blur and I won't have the funny faced photos we took on that rainy day to refresh my memory.

I did find a photo of one of the boys in a team member's album.  He's so handsome & precious.

    

                                                                                                                                                              But, like I said...that "broken" moment just never came.  So when I finally made it home I pushed Africa aside (as best as possible) and focused on my son, my husband, and recovering from jet lag and the stomach bug I brought back with me.  It was so hard to readjust to my responsibilities of mama and wife (that fact shocked me).  I finally readjusted to responsibilities, the time zone and solid foods, and was driving home from The Galley Cafe in Newport Beach and became sick to my stomach again, but this time it had nothing to do with the water I drank in Africa.  My stomach writhed as I thought of Paula who had nobody to wipe her nose and clothes stiff from dirt as I drove through the opulence of the neighborhood.

Me & beautiful Paul

Six million dollar homes, Car Wash Spas, McDonald's that is nicer than the hotels we stayed at in Uganda.  I hurt as I went to South Coast Plaza the other day to do some shopping at Land of Nod.  Crib sheets that cost $30 and photo prints that cost $99.  It hurt that not only does John John have a crib but a well put together nook while Valeria only wanted a safe place to sleep at night..no decor necessary.
 

Valeria.  Who never left my side that entire day.

 

And that's when it finally hit me that in fact, Africa did change me.  It changed me in subtle ways that I am certain will last a life time.  I didn't buy those crib sheets at The Land of Nod after all.  I came home and inquired about sponsoring Kauele Paul for the same price of those sheets.  That broke my heart, too.  Making sure Paul had food for an entire month meant I had to sacrifice only one crib sheet.
                                                                                                                                                                       
Although I refuse to feel guilty for being born in a country of abundance, I also refuse to become complacent and content with the excess.  I will fight that by worshipping the way Ugandans do...with passion and reckless abandon.  I will fight that by joy in the midst of trials like Reward taught me.  Below is the video of Reward singing Here I Am to Worship.  So blessed to worship with him.

  

 

I will fight that by appreciating the simple things in life, like having to do dishes because we have food to eat!  I will fight it in my American ways.  Yesterday my mom and I took the baby to Nordstrom to buy him new shoes.  We loved the Sperry's and we loved the camouflage Toms.  When it came time to choose we bought the Toms because we hoped that since John got a pair maybe that would mean that Elvis would get a pair, too.  

 

 

John in his tiny Toms

Loving on Elvis

So, for now...I leave you with this: We may not be able to change the world... But while we are here we can make changes.  We can travel to another country and love the least of these and share the Gospel. Or we can travel to the nearest freeway off ramp and bless a homeless man with a hot meal and the words "May God bless you."  We can make a purchase with purpose.  Like a necklace from Noonday.  We can help these kids get clean water by giving only $4.  You can sponsor a child. You can pray.  Pray without ceasing,  

(I have so many stories to tell & I will tell as many as I can in the posts to come.  But for now...I hope this post blesses & encourages you to TAKE ACTION, SAY YES, DO LOVE & GO!)

 

He Would Have Framed This Picture for His Kingdom [A Guest Post!]

Today, I bring you a guest post from a beautiful woman & new friend, Ashlyn!  Check out her blog here & the work that she does for the Kingdom of Christ!  It is beautiful & babies are born because she is brave enough to go out on the front lines & fight for them.  Anyway, enough of my rambling...This is a post that Ashlyn has written about saying goodbye to her daughter's birthmother at the hospital...

A Picture of Adoption

I have this picture in my head that I often wish I really had a picture to share. It is truly one of the most precious moments of my life.

After about 4 days in the hospital with "L" and Charlie, we were getting to take our little girl home. The hospital room was me, Dave, Charlie, "L" and "C" (Charlie's birth mother and grandmother). We chatted throughout the flower filled room, but their was a quietness of what was to come. "L" would crack jokes and we would laugh all to help lessen the pain. A mother was about to say good-bye to her daughter and we knew we were about to be a part of it. We had a sense of relief to finally get to go home and enjoy our new baby, but we had to be in the moment and give everything we had to "L". She deserved every second and we wanted to soak it all in.

Finally the nurses came in, trying to be sympathetic to the situation but having no idea what to say or how to facilitate who was leaving in what car and who was taking the baby. I can't imagine their job or what they felt that day. I often wonder what their perception was of the whole situation, but I hope we glorified God and they got a glimpse of His beautiful love story.

We all agreed that we should go down together, we are forever united by one little girl. Dave and "C" decided to go down and pull both cars to the front of the hospital. When they walked back up together, "L" was put into a wheelchair. We all grabbed some flowers, but the nurse held Charlie and wasn't sure who to give her to. We had "L" hold her as she was wheeled down, Dave walking along side her. I stayed a few steps back while sharing with "C" that I admired her and her daughter and no words could ever thank them enough. I tried to tell her everything I could within the walk to the car. I wanted to tell her everything but knowing no matter what I said, couldn't take the pain of good-bye away and that she was about to go home and comfort her daughter. We finally arrived to the car and all I could think was, it is finished.

We strapped Charlie in to her car seat, both women kissed and loved on her for a lifetime. When "L" backed out of the car I looked at her and my heart wept for her. I held her like I have never held anyone else. This picture is entrenched in my brain. Their was a crowd near by that was watching and trying to examine the situation. A nurse stood quietly to the side trying to hide her tears. This moment was purely a God give moment. I truly felt as if heaven was rejoicing over "L" and celebrated her for her selfless heart. That our world would never be the same because of her sacrifices. I know it is silly, but I always thought if God had a camera, he would have framed this picture for His kingdom.

As we all drove away in separate cars I knew that love would bring us back.

We are now getting ready to celebrate Charlie's first birthday in a few days. In a few days, both "C" and "L" will come and share a few hours with us and celebrate Charlie turning 1. And not just celebrate Charlie, but that our lives are all better for the events that took place a year ago. We have a bond that streghthens each of us and are walk with the Lord. When I think of Charlie and her adoption story my heart sings the praise, "O Lord, I sing for joy at the works of your hand!!" Psalm 92:4

David and Ashlynn are passionate about life and have been taking an active role in serving in the pro-life ministry since 2006.  God grew David and Ashlynn's passion for life after years of infertility and inability to have a biological child. With all thanksgiving to the Lord, David and Ashlynn are now parents to 3 children that were entrusted to them by women who chose life. Ashlynn and Dave work to support local pregnancy centers, while Ashlynn actively sidewalk counsels and is a volunteer for the Adoption Center of San Diego and leader with Cities4Life. Ashlynn's heart is to grow awareness of open adoption, educate on the different ministries within adoption a raise up our churches to support life and adoption. 

Waiting for Glory [A Guest Post]

I'm honored and excited to share here while Ashley is away! I

 pray our story would point you to the One who is writing it for us!

We covet your prayers for our little one in Africa and our journey!

Ashley asked me to share our adoption adventures and, being that we started the adoption process 50 months ago, (You read that correctly: FIVE-ZERO. #longestgestationperiodever) I'm going to spare you some of the details so that a.) this post is not 5,000 words long and b.) so we can focus on where God has us NOW and share some specific prayer requests with you.

William and I got married about seven years ago. When we got engaged neither of us wanted to have kids. (This will be comical later on. Just wait for it.) We learned in pre-marital counseling having kids is biblical. Hmmm... So we decided to adopt. Getting pregnant kinda freaked me out (still does for the record) and there were "too many" kids out there already.  Seriously - that was our thinking.

Our son was born in 2008 (surprise!) and shortly after we began the process of adopting from Ethiopia. We were told "the process" would take about twelve months. About six months in we found out we were pregnant again. (Surprise!) And yes, we know how that happens.


 <Enter nine month adoption break.>


When our daughter was four weeks old we started the adoption process again. Shortly after William was diagnosed with stage three melanoma.


<Enter surgeries and cancer treatment and another nine month adoption break.>

In March 2011 William was given a clean bill of health. We let out a long sigh of relief... Ahhhh.

A few months later, Ethiopia deemed us unfit to parent. You can read about that here.

<Enter heartbreak.>

I wandered around the house in my pajamas all weekend. Thankfully, William remained steadfast and we pressed on. This time pursuing adoption from the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC).

Less than a month later we were matched with an adorable five-ish year old little boy. We planned to name him Malachi but never got that chance. He went home to live with his uncle and there is now one less orphan in the world. For that, we are thankful.

We went back on the list to wait for another little boy. (Circa February 2012.)

While we waited, God brought two little boys from five blocks away to live us. One of them is named Malachi. God is funny like that isn't He? Malachi and his brother came to us through an amazing program designed to keep kids out of the foster care system - Safe Families for Children. (Please check it out. It is wonderful!)

We learned early on in our placement with the boys that they might not be leaving anytime soon. In fact, it became apparent they would likely be going into foster care. Since we were not certified foster parents, that would have meant them being pulled from our house and moved into another.

Becoming foster parents was not on our radar. It's not something we ever would have considered. But God knew that. He re-wrote our adoption story to include the American orphan. I thought orphans in the US were far better off than orphans in places like Africa and India. I WAS WRONG. God knew we needed to see it for ourselves, in our own living room. So we became foster parents.

Then, we were matched with a four-ish year old little boy in the DRC. We were told his name was John but found out a couple months later his name is actually Moise, or Moses, not John. Did I mention our bio sons name is Moses? (If you're keeping score that's two Malachi's and two Moses'.)

Last October Malachi and his brother were placed in the custody of the state and we officially became their foster parents! The system may be broken, but God is sovereign.

About this time our two year old daughter Meadow started praying every night for her baby sister. I promptly explained she did not have a baby sister. There are boys as far as we can see - no sister in sight.

But she persisted.

Every night for almost a week she wanted to pray for her baby sister.
Nothing we said could convince her otherwise. (Yes, we tried to talk our
kid out of praying for something. We made Jesus proud.) William
and I grew a little more freaked out each night and he made the next
available appointment for the big snip surgery. For real.

This went on and off for most of the next month.

Then last November we learned Moise would not be our Moise. We learned his mother is alive and well and had no idea he was being adopted or intention to place him up for adoption. We praise God every day for His hand over Moise and that he was re-united with his birth family before something tragic happened. And by tragic I mean coming to live with us when his family wants to care for him.

After we lost our referral for Moise, we decided to take a break from international adoption. We were tired. Three years and nine months is a L.O.N.G. time to be on the emotional roller coaster that is adoption and frankly, I wanted off. We prayed two sweet boys home and had two sweet boys in our home. Good enough, right?

Shortly after deciding we needed a break a few folks contacted me
suggesting certain agencies or waiting child lists. I kindly blew them
off.

All but one.

One email from a stranger included information about a waiting baby girl, and I almost hit delete, but then I saw her name. Glory.

Do you see that name up there? Dead center?

Glory is the name we had chosen for our next little girl.

Oh. S%*#.

I responded with my schpeel.  We have been in the process for almost four years, lost two referrals in 2012, we are tired, blah, blah, blah.  But. I. couldn't. get. Glory. out. of. my. mind.  I decided to do what is anti my personality. To not pursue her. Instead, I prayed. Specifically I prayed if Glory is ours, the nice stranger woman would email ME. Not the other way around.  I thought surely she would be gone. Who has healthy waiting baby girls? Surely someone would step forward for her, right?

Nine days later, the nice stranger woman sent me a message. Glory was still waiting.

I went to William, explained my prayer and that it had been answered. We decided to pray some more.  Pursuing Glory would mean starting over financially. From the beginning. The very beginning. Like $20,000 ago.  In order to get to the point of pursuing Glory, we would need $11,000 up front. So we prayed for God to give us a financial sign.  A few days later I sat down to add up our grants and savings. To our surprise it totaled $10,885. Pretty close to $11,000 right?  Then, as we were getting ready for bed I emptied my pockets to find two checks from friends who had come over that day to purchase some of our fundraising items.  The total including those checks?

$11,000.

So here we are. In God's story. Waiting for Glory while He shows us His. Never having dreamed we would be here. Knowing we would never have chosen here on our own but so thankful for where God has us.  I don't know your story, but I pray you find peace in knowing that He is not a part of your story but you are a part of His.

We would be so honored and humbled if you would add our sweet girl to your prayers. We are at a pivotal point and it seems as though the only shot we have at getting her home this year hinges on a few things listed below. Here are our current requests:


First, pray for favor with our USCIS officer. There are a lot of confusing details (aren't there always when dealing with USCIS?) but we are waiting for our I-600A approval - giving us approval to bring an orphan into the US. We NEED this approval ASAP.

Second, pray that the US Embassy would begin their investigation into Glory's orphan status when they travel to her city in June/July. AND that the investigation would go quickly and smoothly.

Third, pray her birth certificate would be issued and that we would pass court quickly. At this point she will legally be our child and she can move to a foster home in the capital city.

Fourth, please pray for her health. She is literally in one of the hardest countries in the world to be a little one.

William and Lindsy live in Kentucky with their four preschoolers where they are all anxiously awaiting the arrival of a toddler from Africa. She blogs about orphan care and Jesus at word from the wallaces.

My Goodbye (Going to Africa)

I just finished walking the dog. I wore shorts and a tank top down stairs. I didn't fear that I'd be harmed or hurt. I smelled the cool ocean air and there was a slight breeze. As we walked other neighbors were starting their days as well and we all said our hellos and good mornings to one another. 

Now I'm on my couch wrapped in my most favorite blanket. My husband will be waking up soon for work and my son is safe in his crib.  When I finish writing this on my iPhone I'm going to watch The Office on my iPad and finish my coffee. 

I don't want to go to Africa. I love my plushy-cushy life and my home where I don't lock the door and neighbors come over to hang out with me and the baby.

I like not being stretched an not having my faith tested. But The Lord does not want my first world faith. Because that's easy.  If things get hard I am easily distracted by comfort eating or trips to Disneyland or fellowship with friends and family. 

But in Africa, without my husband or son or puppy I have nothing but Jesus. I have to and will rely solely on His friendship and love. I will be stretched and broken. My heart will ache as I am sure I will see my boy in the faces of every child I meet. I will fear the unknown and rejoice in the comfort of my God. I will fly far away from

home so I can be closer to God. 

Please pray that this trip be glorifying to God. That we love as we have been commanded to. Please pray that we meet many who are willing to receive the love of Christ and boldness for us whowill be speaking it. Pray for my son whom I have never been away from and my husband who will be working and taking care of the baby and home. Pray for traveling mercies and health on us all. And when I get back, please pray that the stories I will have to share will light a fire in others to go out into the world!

So Africa, I may be a spoiled little brat and say I don't want to come...but the truth is I've been counting down the days and cannot wait to meet you!

My loves, best friends & handsome boys I'm leaving behind:

One Bright Balloon! [A Goodbye Guest Post!]

I am so excited to share with you a post written by my big-sis-in-Christ, church planter and adoptive mama, Andrea Jones.  She has a blog that may not be on your radar...but I'm tellin' ya, her blog Church Planting is for Girls is amazing.  She has written a post to send me off, as I leave to Africa in 48 hours!!!  Here is what Andrea has to say about my upcoming trip:

Song- Good bye Alice in W

onderland -Jewel

Off she goes just set her free. Like one bright balloon across a cloudy sky she's leaving the land of promise to give promises to another land.

AFRICA

I promise I will try and love you like Christ.

I promise his love never fails even when humans do.

I  promise I won't forget you when I leave again.

I promise I will pass on the change you worked in me.

I promise I will be a part in exporting healing to your country, rather than exploiting you.

I promise to model the love I teach.

I promise to be a student of Christ among you.

I promise to apologise when I break all these promises.

I promise to begin each day new in the Grace of God...and let you do the same.

AFRICA

As I watch Ashley head out to the mission field I envy her. I know the intimacy she's going to get to experience when it's just her and God...and nothing else. As a young woman, she's already shown herself to be a church planter and willing to be planted wherever God leads.  I know the work she's heading into won't be easy and she is going to be pushed to her limit. But I also know the metamorphic change that it's going to build within her soul.

When I started praying about Ashley going to Africa I got a picture of a bright balloon floating in the air, heading out of a crowded country filled with bright balloons and I saw it drift lower, lower, across a barren sky and settle its solitary self down to a rush of kids who never dreamt of such a thing. A bright balloon ( auto correct keeps putting in baboon for balloon....ha different metaphor) from a distant land...just for them. This may have been quite a romantic picture...sorry Ashley...but I don't control what pictures pop into my head...just what I do with them afterward.

If only American Christianity could be known for exporting more bright colored balloons.  More  beauty, freedom, and love. Less hypocrisy, double standards and division. Less political persuasion and more passion of Christ. Less denominationalism and more demolishing of strongholds.

Unfortunately, a "Christian" nation we are known to be the largest exporters of porn, false doctrine, and one of the top five countries financing human trafficking. I love my country, I love the Christians here and I'm very aware that our trials and temptations are no less real than those in countries we want to minister to. After all, being fat has its trials too. As Americans we feel like crap a lot... tired a run down...feeding too much to feel better. Feeding too little to feel better... modifying our diet...And feeding too much on the wrong things both physically and spiritually.

 But  Ash has clued in at a young age to the amazing one step program for getting

 "hot"!  Missions...Dying to self... cause then there is no fear to weigh her down.  So off she floats. On bright balloon in a barren sky." For me to live is Christ and to die is gain..." That's The good kind of gain!

As one bright balloon among many here in America, Ashley is being set free...again....to set others free...

We will be here holding the other end of the rope as you descend into places you never knew you could go Ash. And when you come back, we will help you keep those promises as you share new ones with us. And off we go on mission together.

God bless you my little sis in The Lord.

Andrea is a pastor's wife, church planting mommy with a heart for the people of Long Beach, CA.