LOVE

I'd like to think I'm pretty honest.  Maybe too honest sometimes?  But, I can't help it.  I really dislike when people only share the pretty.  Life is not always pretty & if you hide your sin what does that say about you?  I think it says that you maybe you don't understand grace?  Jesus didn't come to die on a cross as he bore the weight of our sin so that we could hide it and be the pharisees as if our lives are perfect and we are more righteous than the next. Does that make sense?  He came that we may encourage one another.  That we may have fellowship & give love and mercy and grace.  That we may be saved from that sin that we insist on hiding.  So, I guess I sometimes feel I owe it to YOU, my friend, my family, a stranger but sister in Christ none the less, to be honest.  Sometimes Matthew & I struggle.  Like for reals.  We are two incredibly selfish sinners still working on our marriage...as I assume we always will be.  At times we've questioned what we've gotten ourselves into and how long it will be until we get to share to young couples in the season we find ourselves in now that LOVE is worth fighting for.  We are still in the "fighting for it stage" but how wonderful will it be when I can come here and say "God has redeemed what we have screwed up and we have come out to the other side on top.  Stronger.  Holier.  Less selfish and more selfless"  With all that mumbo-jumbo honesty stuff said, I found this on a blog I love from Jane Caroline & I absolutely love it.  It brought me to tears, it made me open my Bible and it has filled my heart with truth.  May it bless you, too.

Love is Not A Fight by Warren Barfield

 

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
And then commit to never leave
So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
If we try to leave may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word that they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
If we try to leave may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

Love will come to save us, if we'll only call
He will ask nothing from us, but demand we give our all

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
If we try to leave may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

I would fight for you, would you fight for me?
It's worth fighting for.
 

Happy Birthday, Little Man!

Our tiny newborn has grown up...it happened so fast and I'd like to think  I enjoyed almost every single  moment of this past year. So, in keeping with tradition: his final photo of this set: 

The morning of his birfday we sang him happy birthday, did a bit of decorating and let him eat that entire donut hole. He was in birthday boy heaven!

We continued to celebrate the following day by visiting the Santa Ana Zoo...which is a part of my summer bucket list!  We went after 2 PM so the entry was discounted and the park was much less crowded. John loved the monkeys and oddly enough he loved the bald eagle which looked like he wanted to eat my son for lunch...

The next day was his birthday party at the park and it was such fun!  I learned a lot about parties and what is worth stressing over and what isn't. Basically, I won't try as hard next year. What matters is good food, good friends, lots of family. That is my recipe for an awesome party!  

I'd like you to notice the crazy on my face as I'm holding the coolest birthday present ever...a box of 180 diapers. It was a little bit like Christmas for me. Sad but true. 

We rested on Sunday & then on Monday afternoon we went to Disneyland!  John loved the Pixar play parade and his Mickey balloon. He LOVED riding the train and Small World and he loved watching all the people. It was so much fun taking him now that he's a bit older. 

Also, during it's a Small World we travelled all over the world but my fave part was sailing through Africa. The dolls wearing traditional Ugandan outfits made me miss that crazy place a bit..

Basically, this past week has been exhausting but so much fun!  I think tomorrow we'll sit down and write some thank you cards and maybe finish up some laundry...

To a Man I've Never Met

(Make Sure You've Entered the Noonday Collection Giveaway!!!)

I am fortunate enough to say that my parents have been married for thirty years and not only that...but they are both still alive. Which considering their medical history is a true miracle. But, they are both alive. When I got engaged my mom jumped with joy for me...When I got married my daddy walked me down the aisle and danced with me. When we got the call to adopt John one of the first people I called was my dad. He is the tree to my apple.  I am just like him. And I've had 27 years to figure that out. 

But there is a man that I never got to meet: my father-in-law. Six years ago today he went to be with The Lord. His death was unexpected and sudden. My husband never got to say goodbye to his best friend. My sister in laws never got to hug their daddy one final time. They didn't get to know their dad the way I have gotten to know mine.  They were teenagers when he died...just kids.  My heart aches so often for them. And, Im not gonna lie...sometimes it aches for me, too. I miss this man I've never met. John O'Brien, my son's namesake. 

I think that my father in law John and I would have gotten along!  Like, pretty much he would have loved me.  As his son's wife by default I'd have his love, but I know I would have looked to him for Godly counsel and good jokes. My husband would have a best friend again, a huge spiritual support system and all kinds of marriage advice. My son, John John, would have another loud and silly grandpa who would adore him. Matt and I have talked about it a number of times and we are certain that Grandpa John would be baby John's #1 fan.   They'd be best buddies & my son would grow up doing Bible studies with Grandpa just like my husband did Bible studies with his Dad.

I miss him. I feel like a part of my family will be forever missing. I imagine that a part of my husbands heart will be forever missing until the day he sees his dad again in Heaven. And I imagine that my sister in laws wish they had their daddy here to harass the boys at the door and guide them and love them like little princesses & precious daughters that they are. Until we all get to see you in Heaven, John...until then we will live life to it's fullest and greatest potential all for God's glory. I've been told that's exactly how you lived your life and the memories you left behind are the best evidence of that.

John with my sister in laws Amber & Sarah & my adorable baby husband, Matthew

Matthew posing as the most adorable boy with his daddy, John.

Doing something manly & macho like beating each other up.  Also, please note my husband's fake blonde Zack Morris hair do'

Best Friends.

Birthday Giveaway!

Hello & good morning!


I'm really excited to tell you TWO things today!  One: I've been able to check out the new fall line for Noonday & oh  my goodness!  Everything is amazing!  It debuts to the public at the end of this month & you are not gonna wanna miss out!  and Two: John's 1st birthday is next Thursday!  I cannot believe how fast time has flown by.  I cannot believe how much he has changed...or how much Matthew & I have changed this past year!  We are blessed!


So in honor of two of my favorite things, Noonday & my son (in no particular order of favorites, obvi), I am doing a giveaway to ONE OF YOU!  I hope this gives you a chance to really check out the Noonday collection...the first time I ever really did is when I won a Noonday giftcard myself!  And I've been hooked ever since!  I also hope this blesses you in a fun way & you enjoy doing a little shopping on me!  You can enter below and just FYI...I won't always make you jump through hoops to win a giveaway.  But, I would love if you followed this blog because I'm not just going to be doing a giveaway this month...but next month, too!  And the month after that, and the month after that!...Next month I'll be doing a giveaway to help out  a friend & her family bring their third child home via international adoption!  So, make sure to check back!

And good luck!  The winner will be announced next Thursday, August 15th...John's 1st Birthday!!!

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The Wait

This time last year Martthew and I were busy waiting. We were officially waiting to be matched with a child via domestic adoption. We had just been blessed by some of the most beautiful women I've ever met with an adoption baby shower. We had clothes, toys, books, bassinet, diapers...we had everything we needed except for the baby. 

And we had no guarantee that we would ever have a baby. We were busy waiting for a child that may never come. 

This time last year my heart was constantly a flutter every time my phone rang. Maybe it was finally the call saying we've been matched!?  Tears were never far from my eyes as I let the enemy sneak in and prowl on my tender heart. I was trying to stay busy and enjoy every moment of my life but something was missing and that was our child

Matthew on the other hand was the perfect picture of composure. He was certain that all in The Lord's timing we'd bring a little one home and he was happy to wait on The Lord. Looking back, I remember being so irritated by his patience but I see now that I should have followed in his footsteps and been more graceful, patient, and kind. 

This time last year my arms ached from emptiness and now they ache from being so full with a 20lb little guy who is my son

I can tell you from experience there is nothing harder than the wait. There are few who will understand how slow time can pass when your waiting for the call. If you're waiting my heart and prayers are with you. I pray you are filled with patience and hope and peace. I pray your days are busy and your nights are restful. I pray that your match or your referral are coming soon and I pray that you don't treat the wait as a time of torture but as a time of blessings. I grew so much in The Lord as I cried out to Him on a daily basis. My heart belongs to Him in a way it hadn't before.

And now, if you'll excuse me there is a tiny boy who needs me. He has dirt under his finger nails and knots in his hair. He has a smile that can melt your heart and the best laugh ever. He is sweet but hates being told no. That's my son. The one I swore we would never be given. God gave us a child...and I am forever grateful for this gift.

Summer Bucketlist (#3)

I am so grateful that I made a summer bucketlist!  It's really helped out on those days when I'd look at John and think "What are we gonna do all day!?"  One of the things on the list was to attend a storytime as often as possible. 

We love storytime!  We go every Tuesday morning to the Huntington Beach Public Library to the 9:15 AM session. They also have storytime at 10 & 10:45 which means that it's only 30 minutes long!  So perfect for the 1-3 year olds!  

It's so incredibly interactive and sweet!  Fun stories, cute props, great songs and a plethora of babies for John John to stare at. It's like Heaven!  And afterwards, we get to go check out books & play in their awesome kids area. I look forward to Tuesday mornings now and can't wait for John to love it & interact more and more!  But for now...here are two weeks worth of story time photos:

Paying very close attention.  He may not have blinked for the entire time!

My infant is being replaced by this toddler!

Watching all the kids jump up & down

Captivated by the story telling