Christmas & Moving Day

Instead of Christmas decorations and pine scented candles, my dining room table is currently the catch-all for moving supplies.  A sharpie, tissue paper, tape and other odds and ends.  My walls are bare, the floor is being taken over by boxes.  Toys are packed...kitchen is empty.  This was not at all how I envisioned this Christmas to be.  

I remember last year...my family and I were all busy dreaming about how wonderful this Christmas would be.  John John would be older.  Walking.  Talking.  Pulling ornaments off the tree and gazing at the lights we'd hang in our windows.  But there is no tree....no lights.  In fact, it's a bittersweet holiday.  Two days after Christmas, Matthew, John and I are packing up and moving out of state. I am so sad to leave.

But...let me get back to the topic of Christmas.  Our walls are bare.  But Christmas is not about the decor.  The music.  Or the lights.  It is about the promised child.  The messiah.  The savior.  JESUS CHRIST.  And there is no better way to reflect on that this year than ridding ourselves of all things that can clutter our hearts.  We have Christmas music in the background, I'm packing up the kitchen, and telling John about a baby to be named Jesus.  Of course, he'd rather be playing with the Tupperware...but I kept talking anyway.  Christmas is a time to celebrate CHRIST...and this year that is what it is ALL ABOUT for us.  I hope that every year we can keep the "busy" and the "rush" to a minimum.  That every year we clear our hearts and minds of the clutter that this time of year can bring and rather we fill our hearts and minds with joyful expectation of a King come to die so that we may live.

As for the big move and my sad heart?  Well....I will miss my family and friends so fiercely.  But we aren't going across the country or even two states away!  We are going one state over.  Less than eight hours to drive!  I know our visits will be many and often.  And I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this move is good!  This is where The Lord has directed us to go.  This is where being obedient to Him is taking us.  It is an honor to go where The Lord calls.  When I push away the sadness of leaving I get excited for what lies ahead. New friends that we hope will become like family.  A new church. New home.  New adventures....

                                       

       

                                                           Merry Christmas, friends!!!

Dear Haven

 Twelve years ago I joined the Junior Varsity cheer squad at my high school.  I became friends with girls who became like sisters.  And now, I still keep in touch with a few...thanks to the power of the internets of course.  But one girl in particular, Shalena, though some years went by without talking, I always considered her a friend.  Eventually, as the Lord had it planned, we both married & became a part of the same young married couples ministry through their church.  Then Shalena & her husband had a baby.  A sweet girl they named Haven.  Ten weeks later John John arrived.  Haven & John never got around to meeting...life happened as it often does & we always promised to get together but never actually made that happen. 
One day, Shalena emailed a few of us girlfriends asking for prayer about childcare arrangements for their sweet girl & I offered my very professional services.  Professional meaning the only experience I have is a tiny toddler I am learning to parent...

So Haven joined John John & I for a few hours every day & has become quite an important little member of our family.  Tomorrow will be my last day with Haven.  Next week will be spent packing getting ready to move...and the following week...we move.  I spent the better part of this evening reflecting on the past few months with Miss Haven & I decided just a few random thoughts in my head were no good...I needed to let Haven know exactly how loved she is and what better way to do that then on a virtual scrapbook I call a blog?  So here goes...

Dear Haven,

I cannot believe that tomorrow I say goodbye to you.  I cannot believe how much I have grown to love you.  Truly.  When you first started coming over you were so unsure.  We had a tiny little boy with hair as big as your head, a dog who only wanted to eat you & we had Matthew, who you were deathly afraid of.  I assume it was & still is the beard that throws you off.

You challenged me.  You were stubborn & too smart for your own good.  You would take John's toys & pull at the dogs tail.  I prayed for patience.  There was about four weeks where I questioned everything I thought I knew about parenting as I struggled to get you and John to share & play well together.  I prayed for guidance.  I wondered when you would stop using wrestling moves on John as you'd pin him to the ground in a move you like to call "a hug."  I prayed for no bruising.  I see now that all of this was just growing pains.  You learned to trust me & you learned that the guidance I gave you was out of love.  You & John learned to share & say "please!" and "thank you!"  and...well..you still wrestle John to the ground.  But he's learned to run very fast.  Haven, you helped me become a better mama, a more patient person & woman who seeks God more than before.

You have blessed me with hugs & kisses & giggles.  And with each kiss & snuggle I knew that this was where God wanted you.  I've loved our snack time & leaf collecting & shopping trips.  I've loved watching your walls break down bit by bit towards Matt.  He was so happy the first time you blew him a kiss goodbye.  You have made me realize that he needs a daughter.  And if that's God's plan for us...I hope she's like you.  Smart.  Caring.  Brave.  Affectionate. 

So tomorrow, Miss Haven Grace, when you leave my house for the last time..you won't know that you won't be coming back to play again.  And neither will John.  And though I am grateful that you two are too little to understand the pain of missing somebody, my heart hurts knowing you are losing your best buddy & John will be losing his.  Haven, you have brought out the best in John.  You have turned him into a brave little boy who actually lets you snuggle on his lap & giggles when you kiss him.  He became a bit more affectionate having you around.  So, with that, little girl, I say goodbye.  You were a sweet and beautiful addition to our family while it lasted & I promise to bring John John back to play every now & then...seriously.  Without you around who will toughen him up & then wrestle him down?  You will be missed around here!

Praying God protect you and bless you.

Love,
Ashley

basically the only photo I have of these best friends actually sitting still...and as you can see they were bribed with goldfish & a movie just so I could have a quick moment to myself...

Hello!

It's been so quiet around here...I'm pretty sure tumbleweeds have tumbled past my computer since it's been so long since I've visited.  So much has happened & I've enjoyed not pressuring myself into writing about any of it.  But, alas, I couldn't stay away any longer.

The baby has been very busy lately!  He walks, runs, jumps, rolls, crawls & every now & then even does some yoga.

 He is still an easy going & joy filled baby.  We thank God everyday for his incredibly cheesy smile,

his healthy development & especially his dance skills.  Seriously, we spent the weekend out of town for a family wedding and he danced the entire night away.  Like, he had a circle formed around him while he cut a rug.  He danced with the bride, momma, strangers & himself.  As long as his booty was shakin' he was a happy camper! 

 As for Matthew & I, and my constant quest for the best marriage possible...we've been doing pretty well.  We've been getting out on dates more often, hanging out and talking more often & truly & sincerely trying to be the best version of ourselves that we can be for one another.  I see it in Matthew all of the time.  His sacrifices, his ability to get out of his comfort zone for me & his love for John John.  He's my favorite...especially because he puts up with my craziness.  So he scores like 8 million points just for dealing with me after four cups of coffee & late at night when I'm tired & cranky & even when I'm overwhelmed with life.  He's cool.

In other news...If you haven't seen it on Instagram...we're moving!  Matthew has been transferred to Las Vegas, Nevada & we leave for our new home December 27th!  Two days after Christmas! (The date on the photo below is wrong!)  I caannot believe this is happening. 

We contemplated going out there years ago when there was no sweet little John in our lives & it never worked out.  But the Lord willed it & His timing is perfect, so we have an apartment waiting for us & in a few days time we'll start packing up & preparing to move.  I couldn't be more excited & more sad.  My family is my everything.  We live so close to almost all of our relatives that I cannot imagine what life will be like when we aren't just a quick car ride away.  But I'm also pretty excited to decorate our new place & to finally have an actual room for John John.  If anybody happens to see my husband...or hey, just wanna hunt him down and harrass him, I'd REALLY like an ETSY giftcard for Christmas.  Oh prettttyyy please!!!!

I hope ya'll are enjoying the Christmas season & getting into the spirit of it.  Right now, John John & I are doing an Advent reading plan with our Jesus Story Book Bible.  I've never done something like this before so I am excited to do it with John!