Thankful For These Faces

I am so thankful for my friends and family.  I am so thankful to be a part of their lives and prayers.  I am so thankful for their beautiful faces!

You probably don't recognize us since we are incognito...but these are my most favorite girls.  Alysia (left), Krichelle (center), me (the big smile/crooked 'stache on the right).  We met through a young married's Bible study and now these two can't get rid of me!  They love Jesus, they love their husbands & they love coffee.  We get along so well!  Not to mention, they look mighty fine in mustaches!

Me & the dad...the first man I ever loved!  He is doing so much better (diabetes has taken his toll on him) and this guy is determined to be healthy again.  So encouraged by his determination! 

The ladies of my life.  Beautiful family....This is all of us on girls day.  We went & saw Chorus Line and it was wonderful!  They are so supportive & loving and a lotta fun, too. 

So even though this is an old picture of me & the hubby, it's still awesome-tastic (Wow, did I just say that?).  This is Halloween from 2(?) years ago, and I think we may have been engaged at this point...it's all kinda a blur.  But we went to our church Harvest-Fest as nerds but agreed that we were more likely embracing our true selves rather than dressing up as someone else...I love the fact that my manly-man got all nerded-up for me! 

I know, I know, I'm not exactly embracing the camera with this guy, but he makes it very difficult sometimes.  But either way, I am very thankful for this face.  The other day when I was crying over the adoption loan he ran over to me, sat right next to me and wagged his tail...the entire time I cried....I'm pretty sure he was trying to help me be happy again and if he could have talked he would have said "Mom, just wag your tail, too!  You will feel better!"  Ha

I am thankful for all these faces.  They're awesome.

(Linking up with these lovelies today.  Check these blogs out, all three are amazing)

The Indian-Giver Credit Union

Things have been going well in my little world...a little too well really, and as we all know in life there are peaks and valleys. Goodbye peak and hello valley.

We were approved by a Christian credit union for a loan to cover the ENTIRE cost of the adoption and have just received notice that they have taken back the approval since we are not working with an agency. They did say that we could have our attorney sign on our behalf, but without a home study we cannot be matched and without a match we cannot hire an attorney and without this loan we cannot afford to hire an attorney...See the problem?

We knew that adoption wasn't going to be easy but we know that this is the path that God has set us on so...it is time to put my faith to the test. Though I write this barely able to see through my tears (I am definitely doing the ugly-cry) and though I write this completely overwhelmed and so unsure as to how we will come up with the rest of the money we need (at least another $9,000, and $1,000 of that by Monday) I do know who is in control and if God can create an entire universe then God can fund our adoption.

But how?

Home Studies: Piece of Cake! (MmmM...Cake!)

I think I have said this before but I am a control-freak!  It is something that the Lord is working on in me, I can feel it and the adoption process is a great way to practice letting go and letting God.

But one think that I felt was very important for Matthew & I to be prepared for was the home study.  I researched everything I could find on domestic adoption home studies.  And I do mean everything.  One of my favorite go to websites during this time (and for everything else adoption related!) was adoptivefamilies.com.  It is truly a great resource tool, but one that I have been, well...pretty much forbidden from.  I would read all the posts on the message boards regarding home studies and newborn waiting times and I would log off in tears so defeated & frusturated!  It was all types of families across America sharing their adoption horror stories and I told Matthew about this and he simply said "That's because those who are enjoying the adoption process or those that had a smooth adoption, are not online talking about it they are enjoying their lives and new babies."  HA!  What a smart man I married!!  But then he said..."I don't think you should read that.  I think you should just enjoy this."  That man is so lovely!

Anyway, the whole point is...I became, seriously, extremly prepared for our homestudy interrogation interview.  I even took this Friday off of work in order to prepare our home (which wasn't as much work as I thought considering we live in a one bedroom apartment at the moment!).  Friday came and went and before you know it Matthew and I were getting ready to meet with our social worker.  10 AM on the dot she arrives and the interview begins.  We let her in the house and Mo decides he loves her and he gave her a very lovely welcome show!  It included jumping around, sniffing her a bit and a few frolicks in the living room over our new guest.  It was adorable and she melted (Thanks, Mo!).

Okay, so this is it!  The interview begins!...She explains how it will work (very simple: she asks, we answer) and the questions start coming.  There were no questions that truly felt overwhelming or intrusive.  It was like a chat with a new friend.  We just told her what our lives were like.  She asked things like:

• How did you meet?
• How do you plan on disciplining your child?
• Why did you choose adoption?
• What did you pursue in infertility treatment?
• Are you financially stable?
• How is Mo around children? (at this point, when the topic turned to Mo, he went over to the social worker, nudged her arms a few times & stared up lovingly at her.  It was perfect!  Thank you God for a dog with the cutest face and [apparently] great animal instincts!)
• Who will take care of the baby once he/she comes
• How do you communicate?
• What does a fight look like in this home?

Since Matthew and I have talked about all of those things in general and since all of those questions are just answers about our lives, they were a piece of cake!  Seriously, friends, a home study is a walk in the park!  We actually enjoyed talking with her and finding more out about the process and scheduling our second (and last!) interview.  Less than an hour later, we were saying good-bye and showed her out!  I cannot believe how easy a home study is.  I was almost a bit disappointed on how anti-climatic it was!

But, basically, I am looking forward to interview number 2.  We will do the home walk-through where she will literally walk through, not stop in each room and examine.  We will not be judged on how many dust bunnies are under our bed or if the mirror in the bathroom isn't perfectly cleaned (phew!).  Then we will do our individual interviews and one more joint interview.  All together this process will take us about another hour.  That is scheduled for Saturday, June 9th and on Wednesday, June 13th we will have two approved & notarized copies of our home study in hand and be DONE with all the paper chasing and formalities.  We will officially be waiting only to be matched with a birth-mother.  Thank you Lord that this only took 6 weeks and not 3-6 months like all my research said it would!  Your plans are always so much cooler than what I expect!

 So, if you are reading this & you too, are going through the adoption process, do not worry!  Please, I truly beg of you, do not waste your time on worry.  God's got this.

In other news, my sister helped me register this weekend for baby stuff.  I know this may be a bit premature but it was so much fun!  We registered here & here.  They aren't complete yet, but that may or may not have been on purpose...just so I have an excuse to go back!  :)

Pretty Stinkin' Grateful

We are in the midst of our homestudy & for this I am so grateful!  I am in awe of the entire adoption process and it's surreal to think that we are actually in it and this is no longer just a thought.  Seriously, is this happening?  We have our first interview this Saturday morning with the social worker assigned to our file and I am so excited!  

The only problem is, I read a lot of adoption articles and I do a lot of research adoption, and I have been reading a ton of articles on how families have been so nervous and cleaned their house like maniacs for their interviews!  I have not been nervous, nor did I have any intentions of busting out the q-tips and toothbrushes to scrub all of those nooks & crannies.  But, maybe I'm the crazy one and these nervous-cleaning maniancs are on the right track.  Maybe I should be nervous!?

But, either way, I am so grateful to be in the midst of this and for the peace that God has given me about the upcoming interrogation interview!

The Day I Grew Up

I have no idea how it happened and I have no idea when it happened, but I can tell you one thing for sure: I am fully aware that I am in fact an adult. I am finally the 'grown-up' I was always curious to meet.

I mean, I know that I have been doing adult like things for years now. I've lived on my own, been to college, moved just because I could, held down good jobs and changed jobs, been on hold with health insurance and the bank (two very grown up things to do), I've been married for over a year, take care of our dog, Mo, am working on our first adoption with the hubby, and most impressively I can do my own laundry!

But today after work I came home and did my daily routine of tidying up our little home...

did a load of laundry, read The Good Book and part of a good book, and made dinner. It was while making dinner when I finally realized I grew up!  Here is exactly how it happened: I pulled out some chicken and

stir fry style veggies and started working on some epic rice bowls and all without a recipe (another very adult thing to do!) I thought about work and our baby, about delighting in the Lord and what that meant, about my hubby and a nursery project I am working on

and I thought about how content I was to be alone with just my own thoughts as company...All of a sudden time stopped as I realized I am the woman I always wondered about when I was younger. I no longer have to be curious about what my life would be like when I grow up because, friends, this is it, and life is good.

So that's it. That's my story of when I realized I grew up. I know my 15 year old self would be happy to see the woman God is turning me into...and this 20-something woman is even happier knowing that the Lord is still doing a work in me.

How Delightful!

So are you telling me all I have to do is be delighted in the Lord!?  I can do that.

I adore Him.

He gave me life and that more abundantly!

He freed me from my sin.

He loves me even though I'm sort of a dork.

And His promises are never broken.

God makes it too easy on me sometimes.

I can definitely be delighted in Him.

Dress To Impress

In my house we like to get dressed up for dinner.  It's usually a formal evening wear event. 

As you can see, Mo was very ready for dinner last night.  He put on his best tie & even brushed his hair around his eyes.  He sure cleans up good.  Okay, well...Confession time: We don't actually get dressed up for din-din at my house...Mo was helping his Dad (Matthew) get ready for a business meeting tonight.  Please pray for my wonderfully hard working husband to be successful in his business venture.  He works for TSA but he is picking up this second job and he is working on networking & sales & trying so hard to provide for our little family so that when baby comes momma can stay home.  What a good man.

Anti-Facebook

Remember the days when friend was a noun and not a verb?  Things were simple back then.  If I wanted to talk with somebody I would simply pick up my old Nokia cell phone and use T9 to say "Hey, what's up."  Of course, I wouldn't really just text somebody to say Hi.  It had to be important since a text used up one of my pre-paid minutes!  But anyway, you get the point, right? 

Well, after logging in about 18 million hours on social networking sites such as Facebook I started to think that I was only logging in about 1/2 per day reading my Bible and maybe another 1/2 hour per day in dedicated prayer.  Now, I know that's probably not too bad amount of time, but I have to be honest.  Sometimes I'd hear my IPad sound off a Facebook notification and the rest of my time with God was spent trying to figure out who commented on what.  Uh, can we say obsessed!?

Next, I got to thinking about all the things I don't need.  I don't need to feel self-centered.  Like, if only 3 people liked a picture or a comment I'd think "What!?  Don't they think it's a great picture!?"  I don't need to know that my elementary school friend is at TGI Friday's and I don't need to sit here looking up people I haven't talked to in years.  Maybe I might sound a little Facebook-consumed, but admit it.  At one time or another you have done the same thing!

So, I logically thought that there is only one thing that I should do...and that would be to delete my Facebook!  I himmed and hawwed over this huge, life-changing, decision and finally came to the conclusion that there could be nothing more liberating than deactivating my FB account and plugging into reality.  There are more important things than networking, accruing a following and updating my cover photo.  Life is now being consumed with more Bible study, more hubby-time, and eventually more time with a sweet baby!!!  So, if you wanna know what's going on with the Little O'Brien Family, I suppose you will just have to find us here on the blog-world!

Mother's Day

Mother's Day this year was eventful.  It was a little sad, a lot of fun celebrating with my mom, and exciting to think that this could possibly be my last Mother's Day with empty arms.  Matthew and I started Mother's Day last night on Etsy.  Since I am [paper] pregnant he said I could pick out something for the baby's room as my present (he's so sweet!) and I think I have finally decided on this:

Don't you just love it!?

After that, we attended church & just as I had dreaded all the mothers were asked to stand up to be recognized.  Now maybe if I was noticeably pregnant others would have encouraged me to stand up, but you can't tell that I am expecting so I sat there in my seat just a teeny bit sad.  Then the comment was made on what a gift it is for mothers to be able to care for their babies for 9 months before it is born and what an important time that is for both baby and mommy.  The tears fell instantly.  I won't ever be able to care for my babe in that precious way & it was like pouring salt on an almost healed wound.  So today, when I received two text messages from two of my best friends my heart felt full and light again.  They said:

"Happy Mother's Day my expecting friend.  Today is the first mother's day for you as you are preparing for your first baby."

and the other:

"Happy mother's to be day to both of us.  Right now God is creating a beautiful baby for both of us we just don't know when we will get it!  Love you and so excited for the plans God has for us."

I feel so blessed to have friends like I do.  God must have known I would need these amazing women as my support. 

As for my current "motherly" obsessions:

This is such a great book!  I guess it could be considered a parenting book but I just loved Druckerman's writing style and enjoyed reading this as a light weekend read.  So good and pretty funny!

This is the baby storage area.  When we get coupons we'll buy wipes or other essentials we are told you could never have enough of, the clothes in here are hand me downs and some of the cuter things are little gifts from family & friends and thanks to Kohl's always sending me $10 coupons in the mail, our baby-stock closet is full with fun stuff too like a Baby Bullet Steamer!

This guy.  He is the cutest dog with such a sweet personality.  He likes to wrestle and cuddle.  He likes to nap and run.  He also likes to bark at the blinds moving in the breeze.  He's the coolest.

 And finally this word art I bought off of Etsy.  I decided to put it over our kitchen sink because it needed to be somehwere that I would see everyday.  It's no coincidence that this is hanging up in our house and it has never been truer to me than when a very wise woman told me that this verse has also be translated into "Cease Striving and Know That I Am God."  WHOA.  The conversation that followed that  statement has changed my life.  I don't know if she knew that her 10 minutes of light-hearted chatter with me has changed my heart but God used her so powerfully.  I had kept trying and failing always finding myself trying to direct my paths.  I think I may have mentioned that I'm a bit of a control-freak?  But everyday I pass by this and remember the conversation I had and the peace that I was given.  God is so cool.

So anyway, Happy Mother's Day!  Whether you are a mom, a mom-to-be, or a mom-like figure to somebody out there.  You deserve to be recognized!  Thank you for all you do in our lives.  May you be blessed!

A Case of the Blahs

Um, I'm having a problem...I have no inspiration.  None at all. 

Nada.  Zip.  Zero.  Zilch.

I can think of all these things I want to post on here:

My live via Instagram.

My weight loss challenge.

The adoption.

Another guest blogger.

Our apartment & up coming move.

But guess what.  I just can't muster up any energy to do this.  I suck.

It's Friday & I feel like I have a case of the Mondays.

I will try to put something up here worth reading this weekend.

I promise.

Miscellany Monday

Happy happy Monday! 

I decided to link up for Miscellany Monday because I had a few random thoughts and not too much otherwise...

This handsome man walking me down the aisle?  That's my Dad.  He was diagnosed diabetic a few months back.  He straightened his act up real quick like.  He ate healthy, he worked out, he lost weight, he kept in control.  Well...all of that hard work and sometimes your body still struggles.  Daddy is in the hospital right now. He was rushed to the ER last night in an ambulance in danger of slipping into a diabetic coma.  He is doing better, they are still working on stabilizing him, but he is back to his hilarious ways.  Praise the Lord.  I hung out with my Dad last night in the ER and my fave quote of the evening:

"I have to get better.  I need to see my baby have a baby." 

I found this on Pinterest.  I LOVE it.  It's from The Land of Nod.  I went go actually go buy a set of the sheets and can you believe that this collection is out of stock until July!?  Bummerr.  I need this!  Anybody who can find this somewhere else: I will give you 10 points.

Thank you Pei Wei for this excellent fortune.  It totally made a lazy Sunday a little more exciting.

Rollin' Out the New Design...and A Special Request

Hello and welcome to my new and improved blog!  Don't you just love it?  The lovely Lauren worked very hard on making it beauty-full!  Check her site out at www.laurencasper.com.  I really am so happy with the new look.  It makes me feel so legit! 

Second, thank you for reading this post.  It's very special to me.  It's about prayer.  It's about adoption.  It's about praying for adoption.  That is a very good combination.  Yes?  Okay, so I know that I often ask you to pray for the hubby and I as we venture through the adoption process, but it always seems to be an after-thought type of request.  Well, I don't want it to be an after-thought anymore.  Matthew and I have asked you to donate, enter raffles, give of your time for us...we've been pretty upfront about that.  Why not treat prayer with even more importance?

 "Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven."

So, duh!  Prayer seems like a good idea.  So, I'd like to ask you to pray for us.  Would you?  Could you?  And, if I may be so bold, would you continue to pray for us?  Every day?  How about at least for the next 5 days?  10 days?  Could you do that for us? 

If you have read this far, I would like to assume that this in fact means that you will pray for us!  Please pray that our home study is completed smoothly, that we are matched with a birthmother and we bring our babe home soon!  Please pray that we do all of this with peace and joy in our hearts and the desire for God's will above our own. 

So that is what we need from you.  We ask you to bring this before the Lord on our behalf.  It would mean the world to us.  It would mean the world to me, to the birthmother, and to our baby.  But, before you leave, I have one more itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny favor to ask of you.  Would you share this?  Would you link this to your facebook page or send this link via email?  Would you like our facebook page and keep up with us and continue to pray?  Would you bring it up to a friend and ask them to pray for some silly-nobody couple hoping to adopt?  I would love if you would do that & I would love if I could pray for you, too.  Please tell me how I can pray for you.  Facebook me, email me, leave a comment here.  Just tell me how to pray for you and I will do it.  You are amazing.

Thankful.

Today is Thankful Thursday...So what am I thankful for?  My hubby.  He is uh-mazing!  Seriously, he is so excited to be a daddy and everyday is becoming a better and better man.  He works hard, he prays hard and he is my constant reminder that Jesus is Lord.  Not to mention that he is one good-lookin fellow! 

See, told ya he was good lookin'.  So, today (and every day), I am thankful for this man.  Matthew, you lead me closer to our God, you make me laugh, you take care of me, you are optimistic and fun, you are smart and caring.  I pray that our child takes after you.  I am blessed to call you mine and I am blessed I will be raising children with you.  You are an amazing man and I am grateful for you!