How To Be a Mother???

Let him cry. Don't let him cry. Mix his home made food with Gerber food. Don't give him baby cookies. Give him oatmeal.  Hold his bottle for him. Don't hold his bottle for him.  He should be doing that by now.  Don't worry if he's not doing that just yet.   Hang him upside down. Hang him from a flag pole. Wash his hair once a month. Wash his hair once a week.  Make sure he crawls first.  He doesn't need to crawl.  You coddle him too much.  You don't coddle him enough...Let him cry it out.  Never let him cry at all. 

My brain is 'bout ready to burst with all the advice, tricks and opinions that have been very lovingly bestowed upon me and I'm at my wits end with what to do with all this!  Maybe the problem is that John has always been an alert, easy going, baby who ate well, ate anything and hit his milestones with time to spare. But now, I'm faced with challenges like sippy cups and finger foods and separation anxiety. And yes...I did just call sippy cups a challenge.  

Sometimes I felt guilty that I don't give John a sippy cup every day or let him hold his bottle or feed my son organic homemade baby food and grow our own veggies  and make proper meals for breakfast, lunch & dinner every day.  I don't know when this guilt took over...it just sort of quietly seeped its way into my heart and lately I find myself questioning absolutely everything I do as John's momma. So what do I do to solve this problem? I ask everybody I can for their advice, of course, and most of the time the advice is good but almost always conflicts with another piece of advice I have been given. Like always.  Not to mention, as valid as it may seem...perhaps I shouldn't trust the advice of the grocery clerk bagging my groceries.  I've never even met her before...

The other problem with all of this is that I have never actually stopped to ask myself what advice I'd give me.  Why would I never stop to think what I thought of certain topics?  Doesn't my opinion matter?  Aren't I the momma who knows John John best?  And even worse yet,  I never thought to ask The Lord for wisdom and discernment & isn't that something we should be doing every day, anyway!?   Every baby is different. Every momma is different and every parenting experience is different. So what is right for the John John and I may be very different for what is right for another family.  I may not grow my own organic veggies & I may not make spectacular meals for dinner every night (or any night.  I don't do spectacular in the kitchen.) and I shouldn't feel guilty if I choose to "coddle" my baby a bit too much for some people's liking.  So really the problem is...I do not need to compare myself to another.  There is no point...I'm not in a race with any other momma out there & this is not a competition.  This is life.  This is real & this can get messy.  The Instagram photos & Facebook statuses of precious moments & milestone markers, etc...are only that: moments.  And even though I am happy their sweet one just read the entire Bible including Spurgeon's commentary & she is only 7 months old...that doesn't mean they are a better momma then me.  It means that they too are doing everything they can to be the best mom they can be & are proud of their little babe (as they should be!).

The other thing I am learning to realize is that John can live and learn at his own pace. Some things he may learn to do early and others he may take a bit longer. But it is no reflection on John's intelligence or my mothering skills & it does not matter what other people say.  What matters is that we are going at a perfect pace for us.  So no...John will not hold his own bottle yet...and yes, he can crawl & pull himself up to standing but no, he does not like textured food & yes, he only washes his hair once every two weeks.  But that's what works for John John and I and thanks to the grace the Lord gives anew everyday, and for his blessing me with a sweet baby & a good sense of humor...most days go by fairly uneventful.  We wake up, play, eat nap & repeat.  Some days we do sensory play & activities & sippy cups & other days we watch Princess & the Frog while I feed him his bottle & Gerber baby food.  But, such is life....real.  raw.  fun. messy & all too fleeting.

Basically, what I have learned about being a momma is to offer myself and other mothers grace, encouragement, support and love. I know that as a first time mom myself what I love to hear most is that I am doing a good job.

Me with my perfect, precious, advanced, genius of a child.  Obviously.