Sunday, January 22, 2012
You'll be Blessed.
So, life is especially crazy and busy right now! These next two weeks are filled with birthdays, baby showers, anniversaries....and one anniversary cruise for Matthew and I! It's pretty cool considering how many beautiful things we are a part of celebrating! But anyway, I could talk all days about these events but today I just want to share something real quick. This song I wanted to share is the song that Matthew and his mom danced to at our wedding...and while I had my IPod on shuffle the other day it came on and in the first time in a long time I listened to the words of this song. Tears of joy came streaming down my face as I heard this song in a whole new light. The song is called Blessed by Elton John and I now consider it my special song to my special baby. To all the future parents out there working on bringing home your special miracle, I know this song will touch your heart, too!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Oh geez...I just vlogged.
So, I have decided to put up a video blog. Unfortunately...these are my results:
What!? Did I just include bloopers? I must be crazy!
I sincerely apologize to everybody who watched all of these. Part of me thinks this was funny but part of me thinks watching these must have been a sad and painful experience. Ha! I probably won't be doing another one of these for awhile!!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
A Little Hurt In My Heart
So, today is an "off" day for me & I was going to pretend a day like this didn't exist but that would be doing an injustice to the adoption process & to my heart.
After that day that I did the ultrasound with an infertility specialist & cried my eyes out, once I wiped my tears I promised to rejoice in all that I have been given and have the ability to do, rather than focus on the things I cannot do, like carry a child. Everyday since then I have found this new sense of joy & love, I even love the feeling of that little empty space in my heart that can be filled only by adopting a child. I have been striving to be the epitome of hope and joy and contenment and thanks be to God, He has given me the strength to be exactly that: Hopeful, joyful, & content. But today...today is different. I saw on a friend's facebook how shared with her family in surprising them with the news that she & her husband are pregnant & I wondered what that would that be like? What is it like to buy a pregnancy test? What's it like feeling the baby kick? What is it like to rub your belly & know a precious miracle is growing inside? Usually, the fact that I will never know those feelings does nothing to my emotions but today those questions wreaked havoc on my heart.
Though, I am sure that today will not be the last day I feel a little pain & grieve over the fact that I don't have the ability to carry a child, with God I can rejoice in the fact that a child is not far from my arms...It will just get there in a different way. I love looking at adoption & I hope all couples going through this will do the same, but that we don't have to adopt we get to adopt. Adoption is a privelege! I still feel a little sad today & I ask anybody reading to say a prayer, not just for me but for all couples going through what Matthew & I are. It is an adventure that is filled with it's ups & downs and it takes complete & total dependence on the Lord to get through the "ups" and "downs."
So, today I will allow myself to feel a little sad but mostly I will feel happy. :)
In other news, and it's awesome that there is adoption news since we have yet to even attend an adoption seminar...we have been blessed with adoption connections! But praise the Lord, we haven't even started the process and in a weird way....the process has started with us! There is nothing like God's timing & as we go through this process I pray that we go through it with a lot of hope, joy & optimism with a dash of realism to ease the pain of dissappointment or heartache. So though today is a little tougher than normal, the cure is easy. Focus on the positive, enjoy the here & now (and now is Matthew & I!) and put a smile on my face. There is a lot to rejoice in!!
After that day that I did the ultrasound with an infertility specialist & cried my eyes out, once I wiped my tears I promised to rejoice in all that I have been given and have the ability to do, rather than focus on the things I cannot do, like carry a child. Everyday since then I have found this new sense of joy & love, I even love the feeling of that little empty space in my heart that can be filled only by adopting a child. I have been striving to be the epitome of hope and joy and contenment and thanks be to God, He has given me the strength to be exactly that: Hopeful, joyful, & content. But today...today is different. I saw on a friend's facebook how shared with her family in surprising them with the news that she & her husband are pregnant & I wondered what that would that be like? What is it like to buy a pregnancy test? What's it like feeling the baby kick? What is it like to rub your belly & know a precious miracle is growing inside? Usually, the fact that I will never know those feelings does nothing to my emotions but today those questions wreaked havoc on my heart.
Though, I am sure that today will not be the last day I feel a little pain & grieve over the fact that I don't have the ability to carry a child, with God I can rejoice in the fact that a child is not far from my arms...It will just get there in a different way. I love looking at adoption & I hope all couples going through this will do the same, but that we don't have to adopt we get to adopt. Adoption is a privelege! I still feel a little sad today & I ask anybody reading to say a prayer, not just for me but for all couples going through what Matthew & I are. It is an adventure that is filled with it's ups & downs and it takes complete & total dependence on the Lord to get through the "ups" and "downs."
So, today I will allow myself to feel a little sad but mostly I will feel happy. :)
In other news, and it's awesome that there is adoption news since we have yet to even attend an adoption seminar...we have been blessed with adoption connections! But praise the Lord, we haven't even started the process and in a weird way....the process has started with us! There is nothing like God's timing & as we go through this process I pray that we go through it with a lot of hope, joy & optimism with a dash of realism to ease the pain of dissappointment or heartache. So though today is a little tougher than normal, the cure is easy. Focus on the positive, enjoy the here & now (and now is Matthew & I!) and put a smile on my face. There is a lot to rejoice in!!
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