In my last post I mentioned that with the arrival of our little man, and the stressors that come along with adding a new member to the family, my marriage has been a tad bit strained.
I mean, we had an immediate adoption placement, came home and I was immediately on maternity leave and that left Matthew left to be the sole provider of our home. He's an amazingly hardworking man and has signed up to work overtime for every available shift that is open at his work.
But that on top of everyday life, we haven't been the best husband and wife to each other. We got in a fight the other day and I was so angry that he wasn't seeing things my way and I was so angry because he never does what I need! Why won't he compliment me more? Or throw the trash out at night!? Why isn't he perfect and a mind reader and fulfilling my every whim and desire!? I was (I'm so embarrassed to admit) about to sit down and make a list of all his wrong doings so I could prove how I was truly the victim, but then...I felt a bit convicted....like a lot convicted actually...and instead of my original list, I began to list all of my wrong doings against my husband.
Turns out in my quest to be the best mom and home maker possible I started to become a really bad wife. I was encouraged by my BFF to read Proverbs 31 as well as to HONOR AND RESPECT my husband NO MATTER WHAT.
So, to cut my story short, I am working on being a Godly wife, a respectful and submissive wife and putting my husbands needs before my own. How do I do that? One step at a time, I suppose.
Every so often, I'm going to come back here and update you on my husband honoring adventures. My first assignment is to be more girl and less frump. By promising the following:
1. I promise to no longer wear any of my husbands clothes to bed...or ever. Even those ridiculously comfy sweat pants.
2. I promise to brush my hair and apply a bit of make up (at least some tinted moisturizer!) before hubby comes home from work everyday.
3. I promise to dress up when we go out together. Just like I used to when he'd pick me up for a date!
4. I promise that even when it's time to jump into my jammies for the night, I will put more effort into it. Cute tank tops and matching shorts or if its cold, nice feminine pajama pants. No more frumpy clothes!
5. I promise to try and be pretty for my husband and not excuse myself from it because I'm "too busy" or "too tired." He isn't "too tired" to be doing 50+ hours of work a week so the least I can do is to look semi-decent when he finally does get home.
What would you promise?
Does anybody want to join me in this? I'd love to do a link-up so I can see how other wives are honoring their husbands! I'd also like to see some cute ideas for casual but cute clothes for around the house. How in the world do you do a link up? No idea! But if this is something you'd wanna do too, lets get the ball rolling!
Next week: My adventures in honoring my husband with my words...
(Disclaimer: Please do not read too deep into these
posts. I am being honest in saying that my marriage needs work but it
is not in trouble. Truth is...your marriage needs work too! I'm
enjoying the fruits of my labor & have never loved my husband more
than I do today! But, sometimes life gets in the way. It's just so
daily! I think we all need these reminders & the encouragement to
make a deliberate effort to improve our lives with the ones who lead our
homes, holds our hands, makes us laugh & loves us like crazy: Our
husbands!)
I love this .. I catch myself getting too comfortable as well and need to do exactly what you are saying. We are not married yet, but in only about 40 days we will be and I need to start this task NOW! We recently move in to a new place and I find myself doing all the things you mentioned, wearing frumping things around the house cause it's comfortable or easy, but then I realize I need to keep my man happy and excited to come home. Great blog entry .. I think I shall promise what you have and put more effort into things
ReplyDeleteThis is great! I have no idea how to do a link up either! But honoring your husband is really so important--as is putting effort into looking good for him, since they enjoy our beauty so much. You are such an encouragement, being humble enough to admit where you've failed and how you're going to do better! Go for it!
ReplyDeleteI have been struggling in this area recently also.
ReplyDeleteI like your list. I also try to put make up on and at least put a little effort into making myself look presentable before my hubby gets home. Take a shower at the very least! Ha!
One other thing is make sure you give him some undivided attention when he gets home and maybe a little TLC (like a head/neck rub) "just because".
I definitely agree with the undivided attention. It's so easy to just start talking about the kids or house or whatever you're thinking about. I am so bad for doing that! Good reminder :)
ReplyDeleteThis post had me literally asking my husband, "Do you think I honor you? If so, how?" his answer was quite interesting. "You trust me to do whatever I want. None of that crazy cheating stuff ever crosses your mind. Your not crazy, your confident. You respect me. This is important to me, to a man because you don't challenge me when I make a final decision." Wow, I was thinking more along the lines of packing his lunch every day before work! Thank you for challenging us to honor the men in our lives!
ReplyDeleteMatt and I just recently read a book called Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman and it really helped us understand each other better. I definitely recommend it :-)
ReplyDelete