I Promise.

In just over a week, handsome hubs & I will be celebrating two years of marital bliss!  But, uh...lemme be honest here....not every day has been blissful....in fact, some days were down right insane.  The kind of insane where you think perhaps it was better if you ran away to join a convent.  Truth.

Anyway, all dramatics aside, marriage has been such a wild ride & as Matthew & I get ready to attend a friends wedding on Sunday (Hi Sam!  Hi Taylor!) I found myself being a bit sentimental and reflective & thinking back to our wedding day....

 We didn't do a "First Look" which is kinda the new thing these days....instead we opted for an eyes-closed, hand holding, tear inducing prayer before we said "I Do"

 I love that look on Matt's face!  I think it's the look of love =)

  He liked it...so he put a ring on it. *Cue the air punching Beyonce dance moves*

 The top of the dress.

 The bottom.

 

The dashing groom.

 

 We had our wedding at the most unlikely place...a 1919 car dealership converted into a restaurant.  If I had to do our wedding all over again?  It would be here.

 A couple of majestical shots in the Art District of Santa Anaaaa

 That's right...we served Mexican food at our wedding day.  Filget mignon?  Nah.  Mexican food?  OH YAH.

And uh, hey.  What's a classy wedding without me convincing Matthew the only way to have happy wife is to pick an Elvis statue's nose? 

Anywho, now that we've seen some pictures...looking back at our wedding day I realize how far we have come thanks to the Lord and thanks to my love for his limitless patience.  We didn't write our vows that day, we opted to go with traditional.  And I'm glad...because I knew nothing of the promises I should have been making back then that I see are so important now.  Duh.  Of course I'll love you until death do us part.  But, not nag?  Uh....not sure if I can make that promise quite as easily.  So, if I had to do it over again knowing now what I didn't know then...my vows would sound something like this:

Matthew,  my love & my best friend. 

I promise to love you everyday of forever.  I also promise to like you forever too.

I know as your wife, I will make a million mistakes, sometimes all in one day...but I promise to be secure enough in your love for me to not have a gigantic meltdown that results in burnt steak & potatoes as I cry about what a horrible wife I am.

You don't have to worry, Matthew, because I promise not to let myself go...and when I do...I promise to bring myself back.  If there ever comes a day where I have to unbutton my pants at a buffet, I promise to join the gym.

My rings will NEVER EVER come off.  Unless I'm washing the dog or the baby.  Then rings are just a safety hazard.

When you wake up, I promise to come over & kiss you & smile...and then walk away.  I will NOT talk to you before you've had your coffee.

I promise to always try my best to chew with my mouth closed.  I apologize in advanced for when I fail.

and mostly, I promise to stop worrying about what you should be doing to be a better husband & just worry about what I need to be doing.  You are my best friend & I promise to treat you like one instead of treating you like a punching bag (I am NOT being literal here, people!haha)  

I promise to practice patience, to watch my tone & to brush my hair.  Every day.

Matthew O'Brien, loving you will be easy.  You make it so easy.  But being a better person, striving to be a better wife, learning to give it all to the Lord as He guides us into crazy adventures.  Well, those are things I will work on EVERYDAY.  I promise.

I Think I'm Dead

 

"Faith without works is dead"

James 2:14

 

 

Sardis: The Dead Church

Revelation 3:1-6

 

 

Boom.  It hit me.  I'm the dead church.

 

I had a talk with handsome hubby the other day about my theme for the year.  Yep.  This year gets a theme.  We agreed the theme needed to be: RadicaL.  We've had so many things on our minds lately.  You know, the normal things.  What is our next goal?  Full time work?  Savings?  Buy a house?  Rent a bigger apartment?  Pay off the last of the debt?  Where do we need to worship?  How should we be praying?  How do we get involved & serve?  See, told you.  The normal stuff.

 

 

What hit me big time was easy to pin point.  It's been stirring inside of me for a few weeks....and I've been all talk.  I need to serve in a radical way.  My heart is (obviously) passionate for adoption & for supporting the cause of the orphan & the cause of pro-life.  I've approached a few friends regarding where my heart is...but that's it.  I'm all talk.

 

The same with the other stirring inside.  Church.  Matthew & I go to church on Saturday night but there is truly no fellowship involved.  So I took it upon myself, on Sundays (when handsome hubby is working) to take John with me to a church plant extension of our home church, called Refuge Long Beach.  I love it.  I love the humility.  The accountability.  The fellowship. 

 

But, basically it's time to talk the talk AND walk the walk.  Be the real deal.  Not the dead church.  Not just for show.  But serve: Radically.  Worship: Radically.  Pray, save, work, love: Radically. 

 

I'll keep you posted on how my RadicaL year goes.





A Working Mama's Got Questions

It's been a bit longer than I had wanted it to be in between post, but I guess I was busy soaking up the last few days of my maternity leave with John, which ended on Friday, January 5th.  Sad day.

 Last few days of maternity leave adventures. 

But lemme be honest here.  I cried myself to sleep on Sunday night.  I shed a few tears on the way to Gramma's house (we have been blessed with free childcare by my parents) and then I ugly bawled saying goodbye to my little man Monday morning.

 My very cranky boy, on his first early morning to Gramma's house.

Of course, John was fine.  In fact he was happy to be at Gramma's house!  He loves it there!  Monday morning at work wasn't too bad.  After almost five months away it was like I didn't miss a day.  There was coffee a-plenty (which is assumed considering I work for a coffee company!) & the day flew by.  I raced home...for reals, I was driving like a crazy woman, threw the car into park in front of my mom's place & ran inside.  My glorious return was met by a smile from John...but then he turned back to his toy & kept playing.  Cue the heartbroken mama.  I suppose I just imagined it to be much more romantical.  That's men for ya, right?

Tuesday was much the same.  Although I did manage to drive a bit more safely on the way to pick up sweet John-John.  Not to mention, he was much more interested in me on Tuesday than he had been the day before.  Cue the relieve washing over me as I realize he didn't hate me after all for leaving him for two days!

This morning, I drop my boy off at my mom's house & hear her coughing and calling to me with a very raspy voice.  Yep, Gramma was sick (sorta).  I say sorta because my mom, though it may have just been a very small cold, probably nothing at all really, just had a little cough, she is not the picture of health perfection.  I did seriously contemplate having somebody else, healthier, watch John, but the reality is, she loves John so much & would do anything for him that there is nobody better suited to care for him if not me or handsome hubby.  Anyway, since her sheer determination to get better by morning time did not work & I was unaware of my mom being sick, I went into work & asked to take a half day.  Yep.  A half day after only two days of working.  Why yes, thank you, I am in fact the world's best employee!  So a half day at work it is...and now I am wondering....is going back to work the right thing for us?

I mean, Matt & I have goals, you know?  If I keep working for the next six months we are likely to meet most, if not all of those goals with some extreme Dave Ramsey style money finagling.  But how many more half days are in my future?  How is this going to affect my mom and her health?  My son?  Our finances?  Oh dear Lord, please show me what to do!

How did you know it was time to stay at home?